Erin
by shnickerdoodles
Summary: Some secrets come out when you least expect them to... and sometimes it can change your life for the better. Post-ep 'Inconceivable'.
1. Chapter 1

Olivia glanced across the desk to her partner, catching his eye for a moment; just long enough for him to give her his slow smile. All she could think about was the comment that he had made earlier about her making a great mother.

Not being able to help herself, she glanced at him again. Repeatedly clicking her pen and tapping her fingers on the edge of the desk was bound to annoy someone; before long Elliot snapped. "Okay. You've got to stop this."

Almost running around the desk he hauled her out of her chair by her elbow and dragged her upstairs to the crib. Normally she would have yanked her arm away, but she couldn't help but be stunned at the abruptness of his abduction. Elliot didn't do things like this.

Elliot assumed what Olivia referred to as "the position." She got distracted every time looking at his biceps, but managed to shake herself back to reality when he cleared his throat. "So Liv. You want to tell me what's going on in that head of yours? Because these past few days have been crazy."

Olivia was looking everywhere but Elliot; she knew she was telegraphing evasive behavior. "I'm just still having a hard time with that case. Those embryos just reminded me of how old I'm getting. That's it. That's all."

His eyebrow cocked in disbelief. "Why is it you can't tell me anything? Why is this so difficult for you?" Elliot's pacing was making Olivia even more agitated.

She couldn't help but scoff at that. "Like you're so forthcoming with everything. It took you two weeks to tell me when you and Kathy split. Everything with you is like pulling teeth." Now she was the one pacing back and forth. They got into this argument on a regular basis, but him not knowing about Erin was starting to weigh on her.

"Fine. You really want to know the truth? This is all that important to you?" Elliot nodded.

Olivia sighed and went to go out the door. "You come over tonight and I can show you. Other than that you're gonna have to leave this alone until then. Can you possibly manage that?" When he said he could she turned to leave again.

"Hey Liv. I'll be by around 6:00. That okay?" She didn't even turn around; Olivia just nodded and kept walking. 

* * *

><p>She hadn't been able to stop jiggling her foot since her talk with Elliot earlier. Everything she had tried had failed; meditating, eating chocolate, and plowing through paperwork were all a bust. The sound of the front door opening managed to break her from her reverie.<p>

"Hey Mom. I'm back. I grabbed some penne and I got vodka sauce on yours. Do we still have that left over garlic bread from the other night?" Olivia's daughter Erin walked into the living room and set the food down on the coffee table. When she didn't get a response she sat down next to her.

"Is everything alright? Did my teacher call about a paper or something?" Erin hadn't been in school in a couple of years, but she had to make some sort of comment to snap her mother out of this funk.

Not surprisingly that comment managed to turn her head. "Why did something go wrong at school?" She was so into her own head that she couldn't comprehend school problems too.

"Mom! I'm not in school." Erin wasn't quite sure what was going on lately with her mother, but she was pretty sure it had to do with Elliot. Sure, she had never met the man; her mom was pretty hung up on him and nothing she said would convince Erin otherwise.

Olivia took a minute to collect her thoughts while Erin went to change into her sweats. When she finally emerged from her bedroom she trailed her daughter into the kitchen. "Elliot's going to be here in about twenty minutes." She watched as her daughter paused and turned to face her.

"And you decided now would be a good reason to tell him why? Why do I all of a sudden exist? Are you finished being ashamed of me?" Erin couldn't bring herself to look her mother in the eye because she was afraid to hear the answer. Deep down she knew that her mother would do everything for her, but a little part of her wasn't so sure.

"No honey! I have never once in my life been ashamed of you. I didn't tell Elliot that I had a daughter because I knew that he would turn it into a reason for me not to be in the field. You know that I have to be able to do my job." Watching her daughter lean against the cabinets looking so distressed almost broke her heart. Olivia walked over to Erin and leaned her forehead against her shoulder. "You're my baby. You will always be my baby. Anything I do, I do to protect you and keep you safe. You'll always be the love of my life and Elliot will not replace that area of my life. Ever."

Her daughter was only three inches shorter than her, but she always felt so tiny when she turned and wrapped her arms around her mother's waist. "Yeah, I know Ma. I love you too." Giving her one last squeeze, Erin turned back to the cabinets. "So is he staying for dinner? I think I got enough for like forty people because I was really hungry."

The knock on the door came as the girls finished getting the plates out of the cupboards and setting the table. "Well it looks like his timing is impeccable." She watched as her mom went to the front door and slid through the opening. Apparently preparing Elliot for the shock of his life was a good thing; at least she hoped it was. 

* * *

><p>Elliot took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He thought maybe she'd been dating a guy and didn't want to tell him about her partner, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe nothing was wrong and she just wanted to hang out like they used to.<p>

Ever since he had gone back to Kathy and Eli had been born, things had been strained. They didn't talk about much besides the job and even when she did ask he didn't want to talk about the problems. If it was even possible, Kathy and Elliot's marriage had gotten worse; the toll of taking care of a newborn just compounded everything.

As the door opened he put a foot forward, expecting to admitted inside. Instead Oivia slipped through the door and left it slightly cracked behind her. "Hey El." The tapping of her foot began again.

He frowned, not knowing what to say to her. "Um… can I come inside? Or am I no longer allowed?" Knowing that he was being an asshole was so much easier to deal with than trying to be understanding at the moment.

"Yes, you're still allowed in," she gave him an annoyed look. "The reason I haven't said anything is because of a person –"

Elliot nodded. "Ah. So it is a boyfriend that you didn't want me to know about." Olivia could barely keep herself from strangling him.

"No. You idiot; if you would let me finish a sentence. It's not a boyfriend, but it _is_ a daughter." This time she looked him straight in the eye as she said it. She was not ashamed of her daughter and if this was what it took to prove it to her, then so be it.

"A kid Liv? That's kind of a big thing to keep from someone for nine years. You know life-changing and all of that!" He leaned back against the wall and jammed his hands into his pockets to keep from punching the wall. Taking out his anger at her lies would probably get him shut out of the apartment for good.

"Yeah, well, with all of your spiels about protecting your children, I figured that not telling people was my only way of protecting her." She could feel Erin standing on the other side of the door listening to her conversation with Elliot the idiot. "Erin means the world to me and if you can't meet her right now without being a jerk then you need to leave El. I won't have you hurting her, best friend or not."

They were both silent for a moment, contemplating their friendship and how it had reached this point. "Okay." Elliot looked at her. "I'm sorry about this Liv." It felt like she was watching something in slow motion as he turned and walked toward the elevator down the hallway.

Olivia blinked once, then twice. She sluggishly made her way back through her apartment's front door and rested heavily against it. Erin was standing in the hallway. "I guess he's not staying for dinner then?" She choked out a sob and hugged her daughter to her.

"Nope. I think I'm going to go take a shower and then go to bed. I love you baby." She gave her the customary good night and kissed her on the forehead and disappeared into her bedroom.

Erin knew how much her partner meant to her mom and wasn't quite sure what to do. She quickly ate her dinner and when she heard the shower shut off she packed the food back up and set it in the refrigerator for another night. Giving her mother a couple of minutes to get settled into bed, she went through her bedtime routine.

When she settled into bed with Olivia, something she hadn't done in years, she snuggled down and let her mom hold onto her. "Love you too Momma." Erin listened to her softly cry until she fell asleep. Once she was sure she was asleep, she let one tear slip out; there had to be something she could do to make this better.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia wasn't sure what to make of the whole situation with her and Elliot. She knew that she had to be the first one to say something, but she kept blanking on what to talk about. The past two weeks since she had told him about Erin had been even more strained than before. Olivia couldn't get a word out of him unless it was about the case. It appeared that all other things were off limits.

The weather had been so sweltering that when they walked into the building it felt like they had returned to the fringes of Siberia. Summer hadn't even arrived yet and already the heat was driving most people out of the city to beaches and lake homes.

Olivia and Elliot stood in the elevator; the phrase 'silent as a tomb' came to mind. Olivia was still trying to work out what to say when she had the impulse to hit the elevator's stop button. "What the fuck, Liv?" His glare made the small space seem even smaller.

"Oh! He speaks!" As soon as the words came out of her mouth she knew it was the wrong way to start; Elliot went to reach around her for the button. "Okay. I'm sorry. Please." He paused in his pursuit of leaving the elevator.

"I know that I should have said something, anything. I still stand by my reasons of wanting to protect her. My baby means the world to me and I would be lost without her." Olivia paused and leaned against the wall. "But I would also be lost without you too El."

He looked surprised to hear those words coming out of her mouth. "Yeah, best friends and all that, but that was a pretty large thing to 'forget' to tell me."

She nodded her understanding. "Yeah it was a huge thing to leave out. So all I'm asking right now is that you think about what I've said. I'm sorry. I would really like for you to know my daughter because you're my best friend and I trust you with my life day in and day out."

Having said all that she needed to, Olivia stood from the elevator wall and pressed the stop button. When they reached the squad room floor a few moments later, Elliot walked off without a word; she was left hoping that what she had done hadn't damaged their relationship that badly. 

* * *

><p>Erin packed the last of her things while her mother sat on her bed, making sure everything fit perfectly. It seemed to be a routine of theirs; Erin would fold and dump things into her luggage and Olivia would slowly rearrange things neatly so that her clothes and other items wouldn't get damaged.<p>

"Do you have to head back upstate so soon?" Olivia was packing slower than usual tonight, not wanting her daughter to leave. "I mean Jax can probably run the ranch for a couple more days without you."

Her mother's hesitancy broke her heart. She wanted nothing more than to stay and try to help her fix her relationship with Elliot, but that was something that couldn't be done in Manhattan; not with all of the history they had in the city. "Yes, ma, I really do have to get back. That husband of mine is likely to have trained Blue to have some seriously bad habits in the four days that I've been here."

Erin always came back once every couple of weeks to stay with her mother, but with the summer coming there would be a lot more work to do. "Okay. Well then I'll get you a some stuff to munch on while you're driving."

She watched her mother leave her bedroom silently. Yes, she was leaving the city, but first she had a visit to pay to the Stabler household in Queens. 

* * *

><p>Their dinner-time meals had never been particularly lively, but lately they had taken on a feeling of melancholy. Not much was said and with Kathy trying to feed herself and a newborn, she would snap at someone who was a little too chatty. Not to say that Elliot was any better; Kathy noticed that he had been brooding over something for the past couple of weeks that had him in a particularly foul mood.<p>

The tentative knock on the door managed to startle the whole family out of their stupor. Kathy looked at Elliot like he might be able to tell her who it was. "Keep eating. I'll see who it is." Secretly he hoped that it was Liv, coming to apologize once again; he was so close to forgiving her because he wanted to satisfy his curiosity about her children being as gorgeous as her.

He was apparently right on the money about her offspring looking gorgeous. Elliot opened the door and in front of him stood a younger Olivia with stunning green eyes. "Detective Stabler? Could I please talk to you about my mom? I know your family is probably eating, but I am on my way back home and I really wanted to talk to you."

It was almost endearing that she also had the same quality to ramble on when she was nervous. He looked behind him into the house before stepping onto the front porch and closing the door behind him. She gestured to the stairs and both sat, wondering how to start the conversation.

Erin bit her lip and decided to go first. "I need you to know that my mom didn't tell you because she didn't trust you. It's a combination of her wanting me safe from her job and dad's job. I would really like to get to know you, if you'll let me." She chuckled when Elliot gave her a slightly bug-eyed look.

"How old are you?" When she talked she somehow made him feel like the kid in this conversation.

"I'm twenty-one. I live with my husband Jackson on horse property in upstate New York. My mom's a NYPD detective and my father is an actor. My birthday is in a few weeks, July. Which is the reason my mom always takes her vacation then." She paused for a breath. "I know that you are very close to my mom and she trusts you a lot, so here."

Erin handed him an index card with writing. "Here is my address. You can bring your family because my house has more than enough room. Stay for however long you like, just give me a call a couple of days before you drive up." She stood from the stairs to walk to her car and before she reached the bottom she threw him a smile that looked exactly like Olivia's. He knew then that there was no way he could get out of going to see her home.

He sat on the porch for a few minutes after they left. Elliot alternated looking at the card with Erin's information and the suburban they owned, sitting idle in the driveway. Heaving a sigh he stood and walked back into a house he no longer loved.


End file.
